


Straight Down

by Wolfy_Nixus



Series: Straight On [8]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Flashback, Mind the Tags, Murder, Sadness, Violence, fair warning, serious angst, this is costia's murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 16:35:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8808046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfy_Nixus/pseuds/Wolfy_Nixus
Summary: WARNING: This part of the story is basically a big flashback. It depicts Costia's murder. Why did I write this? Cuz I'm a sick bastard. But I try not to skimp on the violence or emotion. Read at your own risk.





	

**Author's Note:**

> MIND THE TAGS   
> MIND THE TAGS  
> MIND THE TAGS  
> MIND THE TAGS

            Gentle fingers flipped the 'Closed' sign over, the light on just above the door to illuminate the bold red letters to any potential customers. Costia hummed softly to herself, rubbing the back of her neck in an attempt to massage away a kink as she made her way to the managers office to finish her nightly duties. It was a plain and barely furnished room, containing two cushioned office chairs, and one rolling chair behind the average looking metal desk, it's seven year old Dell computer humming softly atop it. There were a few touches she had added, however. A vase with barely wilting flowers, a motivational poster she managed to find that wasn't too condescending. Her favorite pieces were a set of frames, one holding the picture of her son, the other a brunette woman that shared his same jaw, that same careful look in their eyes. For a moment Costia paused on the woman's face, reaching for the frame, bringing it towards her face for a better look.

            Nearly four years have passed since she'd gazed into these deep green eyes, heard that soft spoken voice, felt the rough calluses and scars on her otherwise gentle hands. Costia hardly ever found herself quite this nostalgic, and for a few seconds she contemplated grabbing her phone, something she did at every major event, every Christmas, every birthday, every new milestone that Aden reached Costia would feel her fingers tingle, ready to grab her phone and dial a number she knew her ex-lover would never change.

            Costia's heard things recently, from her cousin who lives relatively happily in their old neighborhood, in that beat up side of town. Lexa has been seeing someone, and it's serious.

            _"They're living together,"_ Lincoln tells her. _"You'd like Clarke, I think. She's a nurse, she and I sketch on the weekends in the park."_ Lincoln is kind, he's trusting and loving and amazing. He doesn't deserve her lies, either. None of them do, her old friends, old family. But, it's necessary...as loyal as he is to her, he's so much closer to Lexa, much more loyal. He wouldn't be able to hide this from her, and it would not be fair to ask him to do that. Her parents are concerned, and of course they are, but she placates them, reassures them that she is fine, everything will be fine, she's not ready yet but she will be.

            The woman's eyes glance up as the sound of footsteps echo down the short hallway, eyes widening slightly as her door swings open, revealing a familiar face. He looks haggard, eyes betraying his regret for what he's about to do. Costia can somehow feel it in her bones, know that she won't be leaving this office alive, she won't ever see her son or Lexa again.

            "Roan...what brings you here?" The older man rolls a shoulder, allowing his jacket to open slightly, enough for her to see the long blade attached to his hip. She swallows and begins to shake.

            "Nothing personal, Costia." His hand lazily reaches for the knife at his hip, and she gasps at the movement, falling back in her chair. She's not some helpless maiden, but even with her general combat knowledge she knows Roan would come for her, and would make it so she couldn't be recognized. Nia taught her son well.

            "W-wait, Roan, please...One last thing, for old times sake..." Roan pauses, the serrated blade firm in his right hand. He twirls the shining steel between his fingers, waiting for her to continue. After a hard swallow, Costia speaks again. "Let me...let me give my last words, please...for my son..." Roan, for all his outward menace, looks upset, saddened, but he nods. With his eyes following her every movement, she gathers paper and a pen together, returning to her seat heavily, and begins to write. The assassin takes a seat, and were it not for the glinting knife it would look like a job interview. Costia's pen strokes across the pages swiftly, clearly, she doesn't want to be misunderstood in any way at all.

            Costia is shaking when she finally finishes, having been writing for at least three hours. In that time her phone had rung no less than eight times, each one from her parents curious as to her absence. Hearing the steady vibrations tore at her soul with each missed call notification, the smiling face of her baby boy, her little Aden grinning back at her before the lock screen appeared, only to repeat again and again.

            "Ready?" Roan doesn't expect a response, but stands when Costia simply nods, dark hands reaching for her phone. He allows this, suspecting what she's doing. As he moves to stand behind her she flips through her photos, finding a video she took just that morning of Aden at breakfast. He was covered in milk, having decided his cereal made better artwork than food. His laughter echoed in the room, where the only other sound was Roan's movements. Costia focused solely on this final thing, this final memory, she did not feel Roan's hand at the top of her head. The very last thing she would do was laugh softly at her son's chubby face covered in cheerios, Roan's blade running cleanly, deeply, across her throat. His final courtesy was a snapped neck, ensuring she did not endure the pain.

            Roan left, was caught soon after, though he hadn't given much resistance as per his mother's instructions. Costia's last words had become stained with her blood, had been placed in evidence pending Roan's trial. It would be several months before her parents finally received the papers, stained with their child's blood. They would never throw away the last thing their daughter ever said, but did have it transcribed and put in plastic sheet protectors. Aden would one day read these words, he didn't need to be shown evidence of his mothers brutal murder.

            Lexa quietly digs through one of the boxes that Dante Wallace had left behind. Despite the full and otherwise exhausting evening she couldn't find it in her to sleep. The clock on the wall read 3:39am. She could workout, but she didn't want to bother her family, her sons sharing a bedroom just down the hallway, Clarke fast asleep. No, instead she would see what all Aden had come with, perhaps she could do something with him tomorrow. She wanted to get to know her young son, she needed to. She'd lost so much time by not being there, by not knowing.

            Several plush toys, an elephant, a wolf, a Dalmatian puppy, and a raccoon. A Rubik's cube made her smile, especially as she noticed two sides were already completed. Memories of Costia practicing on those stupid cubes, her obsession with them, it was always amusing, and Lexa didn't doubt that Costia passed that love down to their son. A few picture books, mostly Dr. Seuss, all well worn and well loved. And finally, with curious hands she finds a folder. It is separate from all the children's toys, packed with medical records, and pre-school applications. It's unlabeled and well insulated.

            Careful hands pop the clip, pulling several sheets from the folder, and her eyes widen at the words at the top of the page. "Dear Aden and Lexa." With shaking hands her eyes rove hungrily across the page.

            _If this is Aden reading, I'm so sorry, baby...I'm sorry I left you alone, please don't be angry, it's not something you could have changed, or anyone could have changed. I will always love you. Your Daddy will take such good care of you, I swear. She's going to love you just as much as I did, maybe even more._

_If this is Lexa, then I'm just as sorry. You didn't deserve not to know, you should have, but I was a coward, I ran away to have an abortion, I didn't want a kid, but I knew you did, but you just lost almost everyone you loved...I knew I couldn't go through with it and still keep looking into your eyes and see that hope reflected back. You always said you were fine, resigned to the fact you more than likely could never have a family, but I knew and I could see how much that hurt. I couldn't do that to you, so I ran away._

_I changed my mind, obviously...God, Lexa, Aden's such an amazing little boy. He's so like you, it breaks my heart, but at the same time it makes me so proud. Because maybe he'll be more like you, strong, independent, resilient. I know he'll love you, since he's learned to talk he's asked about his 'Daddy' more than once. I always change the subject, and I always knew I could never keep him from you forever. Like I said, he's as stubborn as you are, eventually he'd have seen through my deflections._

_Lincoln's told me about Clarke. And no, Lincoln didn't know about Aden, no one did. No one but my parents ever knew he existed, so please don't be mad at him. I hope Clarke makes you happy, whoever she is. You deserve that, deserve more than life has handed you, more than what I've done to you._

_I've already made it so you gain custody of Aden, it's all set up, all you need to do is say yes, and I know you will. I know that sounds arrogant if I were talking about anyone else. But I know you, Lexa...Aden is everything you've ever wanted, a life, a legacy. I love you, Lexa, I've fucked up so badly, but I love you so much. I'm so sorry._

            Lexa didn't realize she was crying until tears dripped onto the plastic covering, sliding down harmlessly onto her lap. There were more pages, mostly about Aden, more apologies, more regret.

            She couldn't believe it...she knew, obviously, Costia basically ran away with Lexa's child, raised him in secret, away from her. But to have it spelled out for her, to tell her she was loved, that there was such deep regret, and how often she would try to bring herself to call. Lexa was grief-stricken and in such a fit of anger she was trembling. She carefully put Costia's letter back in its folder, and in turn back in the box of forms. She'd revisit it, for Aden's sake, and any questions he would have one day. And she knew he'd have them...Costia's death was highly publicized for its brutality, its seeming randomness, and for Roan's quick release compared to other similar crimes before and since. He'd see it some day, though Lexa hoped it would not be for years to come.

            She set aside the boxes, making her way quietly down the hall, she paused in the doorway of the nursery, looking in on her boys. God...her boys, her sons. Aden was so giddy upon seeing his baby brother. It was all they could do to keep him from being too loud and waking the infant. He stuck close to Jakob as he was changed, washed, fed, and then finally put to sleep in his crib. He seemed to be in awe at this sudden gift given to him. Lexa found herself smiling softly, especially as she realizes that since he was left alone Aden had managed to shove his bed closer to Jakob.

            Lexa could do this, right? Raise two boys? She wasn't alone, she had Clarke, her friends and family. She took a slow, deep breath, released it and tore herself away. She tiptoed into her and Clarke's bedroom, sliding into their bed quietly, smiling to herself as Clarke automatically latched into her in her sleep. Yes, she could do this. This was the turn, where everything gets better. Nothing will ever be perfect...but god is it already so close to it.

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY SORRY SORRY  
> Feedback is forever appreciated!   
> Thanks for reading!


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